Monday, July 30, 2012

Starrcade 1985


It’s time once again to delve into the past! Today, I correct my mistake at the end of last Friday’s post: Starccade ’85 was on November 28, obviously before the December 19th Saturday Night’s Main Event and therefore will be covered today. The pay per view was showcased in two venues: Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, North Carolina and The Omni in Atlanta Georgia. Let’s get to it!

We start off with bob Caudle and Tony Schiavone promising a night to remember with every title on the line and grudges to be settled.

Match: Sam Houston vs. Khrusher Khrushchev for the Mid-Atlantic Title
In a match of power vs. speed, both men started out strongly, with Khrushchev slowly gaining the edge. Houston had a second wind somewhere along the way, almost winning, but Khrushchev was able to take quick advantage.

Winner: Khrusher Khrushchev with a pin to become the new Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship
This was an ok match. What was promised as speed vs. power didn’t really have a lot of speed to it. Houston’s second wind was nice, but it should have gone on longer and the “I believe I’ve won so I’ll let myself be pinned” didn’t feel right in this case. 2/5

Match: Ragin’ Bull vs. Abdullah the Butcher (with Paul Jones) in a Mexican Death Match
In essence, it’s a Hat on a Pole Hardcore Match. Bwuh?
Anyway, Abdullah had the weight advantage to begin with, which was eventually used against him, with Bull utilizing his own boot and belt. Soon, none of them had any real favor going for them.

Winner: Ragin’ Bull
This match was good. It was intense with neither man having any clear ground. It had a good finish with Abdullah making a small miss, allowing Bull to get the hat. 3/5

Match: Cowboy Ron Bass vs. Black Bart (with J. J. Dillon) in a Texas Bullrope Match
Both men are tied together with the Bullrope, anything goes.
Bass early on had the strength to dominate Bart with a cowbell. Bart’s attempts to turn it around were met with being tossed out of the ring and more cowbell.

Winner: Cowboy Ron Bass with a cowbell and pin
This was a very weak match. Sometimes dominated hardcore matches are good, but when it just results in getting clocked in the head over and over again with a cowbell? I kept wondering to myself when Bass was just going to have mercy and stopped caring. Maybe if Bart was able to get a hit in edgewise I’d find it to be ok. 1/5

Match: Cowboy Ron Bass vs. J. J. Dillon (with Black Bart) in a Texas Bullrope Match.
No matter how many times I wish it was, this is not a typo. Apparently the stipulation going into the Bass/Bart match were that if Bass won, he got a shot at Dillon in the same style match.

Dillon didn’t even wait for Bass to get up from the matt after pinning Bart, he just went into it. Bass was able to retaliate with… more cowbell.
I refuse to put Walken on.
The ref got knocked down, Bart came in piledrived bass, dragged Dillon onto Bass and the ref woke up.

Winner: J.J. Dillon with Bart’s interference and a pin.
The above is the only play-by-play detailed description I will give of any match. That’s exactly how it went. What was the point? Stupid Stipulation with stupid timing (right after the match? Really?) with really stupid decision making. 1/5

Match: Superstar Billy Graham vs. The Barbarian (with Paul Jones) in an Arm Wrestling Match.
Arm wrestling. We go with this now? What kind of booking is this?
It looks like both men are physically straining with this and Graham looks like he’s passing a kidney stone the size of a walnut. I cannot and refuse to buy this. And Paul Jones hit Graham upside the head with his cane.

Winner: Billy Graham by disqualification
Worst. Booking. Ever. 0/5
You see that? I gave it a zero. That’s what happens when you have something this stupid. The Dillon/Bass match was incredibly stupid, inane, and asinine (yes, I realize they are all synonymous. Deal with it.), but at least it had something akin to professional wrestling, not grown men struggling with a child’s game. If this is what I have to look forward to with WCW, I’m going to be having an aneurysm by 1989.

What next?
Match: Superstar Billy Graham vs. The Barbarian (with Paul Jones)
What?
Match: Superstar Billy Graham vs. The Barbarian (with Paul Jones)
What?
Match: Superstar Billy Graham vs. The Barbarian (with Paul Jones)
They shorten everything, for an awful arm wrestling match and THEN put the two together in a real match? WHERE THE OUTCOME IS THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, the same thing happens. Paul Jones hits Graham, who then wins by disqualification.
I wish I were kidding.
1/5  because it was at least a professional wrestling match.

OK then. I refuse to even comment on the rest of the pay per view. I will give the matches, the winner, and a rating, but will not comment for fear of losing my sanity.

Match: Terry Taylor vs. Buddy Landel (with J.J. Dillon) for the NWA National Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Buddy Landel to become the new champion
3/5

Match: Ole and Arn Anderson vs. Wahoo McDaniel and Billy Jack Haynes for the National Tag Team Title
Winner: Ole and Arn Anderson to retain the championship
2/5

Match: Magnum T.A. vs. Tully Blanchard (with Baby Doll) in an “I Quit) steel cage match for the NWA United States Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Magnum T.A.
4/5

Match: Midnight Express vs. Jimmy Valiant and Miss Atlanta Lively (with Big Mama) in an Atlanta Street Fight
Winner: Jimmy Valiant and Miss Atlanta Lively
3/5

Match: The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express vs. Ivan and Nikita Koloff in a steel cage for the World Tag Team Championship
Winner: The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express
3/5

Match: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair for the World Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Dusty Rhodes
3/5

It actually did pick up after the second Graham/Barbarian match, but it really was lousy booking in the start to the show. When that happens, it makes me lose quite a bit of interest. Granted, the later matches were better, but I honestly stopped caring because of how it began. However, using this show as a learning experience, I won’t stop commenting because I don’t like how I feel the show is doing.

The night as a whole? 2.6/5 The arm wrestling and rehash matches are what killed it. Also the Pay-Per-View was quite a gimmick-filled night. I would say my favorite match was the Magnum/Blanchard “I Quit” match.

That’s it for today. Wednesday is our last night in 1985!

No comments:

Post a Comment